Almost every image of Phuket on the Internet or a travel agent's wall features azure seas, blue skies and tanned cou-ples strolling along a gently sloping beach. But what happens to the tropical clich?s after the sun sinks into the Andaman Sea? Is Phuket's nightlife as appealing as its beach life?

Starters
Patong is Phuket's nightlife hub. Yet, for a town bursting with bars, clubs and pubs, it comes as a pleasant surprise to find that all of the major players lie within walking distance of each other.
A good place to start your evening is La Salsa, beside the Impiana Phuket hotel on Thawee-wong Road. They serve up the most exotic cocktails on Phuket in a chic Latino set-ting where you can people-watch to your heart's content. Alternatively, there are two Irish pubs for middle-evening drinking and entertainment: Molly Malone's, on the beach road, and Scruffy Murphy's, on the infamous Soi Bangla. These two locations are almost identical, both of them featuring good live music, nourishing pub grub and lots of beer at prices that would raise eyebrows even back home. Nevertheless, long-time resident and Viking Restaurant/Bar manager Tom says, "I like the Irish pubs. They're real life. Us guys who've been here a while like to get away from the girly atmosphere." The beer bars lining Soi Bangla are a good midevening alter-native, but you won't escape the "girly atmosphere" here. Perhaps the best choice is the U2 bar, which features good music and not too much pressure from the stacked-heeled ones.
 

Main course
Farther up Soi Bangla, on the left coming away from the beach, a series of turnoffs are jam-packed with bars. These watering holes are milling with ladies who're more than enthusiastic about meeting you. If this doesn't light your candle, a few exceptions lie along Soi Sea Dragon, the excellent Jammin' has just opened a branch. Jammin' has perfected the art of mixing a club and bar atmosphere. As owner Phillip Cornwall-Smith says, "I want to create the same ambience as that of our branch in Phuket Town." Gestur-ing at the almost Hogar-thian sights of people cavorting in the surround-ing bars, he suggests, "People need a haven away from this madness." Inside, the lively band is in a rapping groove and the place is bopping.
 

On Soi Katoey, a series of adjacent bars with a central plinth sit near the Soi Bangla turnoff. Here, the katoeys, or transsexuals, working in the cabarets perform for free around mid-night. It's quite an eye-opener, and definitely a photo opportunity. The open-air bars down these streets do serve an important sociological function for insecure males, though — if you're in any doubt as to how you look, just take a stroll around here. You'll be assured time and again that you're "velly han'some". On the same side of Bangla lies the ne plus ultra Tiger disco, bar, beer garden and seafood restaurant — the biggest of its kind on Phuket, even featuring an underground parking. "It's a one-stop objective," explains Singaporean man-ager Robin Lee. Tiger sports a sort of techo-meets-Flint-stones jungle décor, with a huge cavernous disco and designer waterfall. It's all very impressive and, to no one's surprise, Tiger's packed out every night.
Carlos Santana and gyrating hips. Steel poles and long legs. It's a Bangkok cliché, every-one's impression of the Big Mango. But right where Soi Bangla meets Rat-U-Thit Road you'll find Rock Hard A-Go-Go, Phuket's own ver-sion. No spring chicken, Rock Hard's been going for 15 years now, and manager Smokin' Joe, a big man with a big presence, was the first to organize the yearly Phuket Big Bike Week charity event. "I don't like dirty," he says. "I like fun. We have almost 300 ladies here, but we're not dirty. We have the only license in the south of Thailand for this sort of thing." "This sort of thing" is probably like nothing you've seen before in your life. Scores of scantily dressed beauties wave from bar stools, some wander over for a chat and a flirt. For all this, Rock Hard is as much a couple's destination as it is a single's hang-out, and the a-go-go element doesn't have the sleazy tang of Bangkok's Patpong district, where you're more likely to get ripped-off than not.
 

Diagonally opposite Rock Hard is Tai Pan. This bar has shown much inno-vative flair, since its opening three years ago, and hands out generous competi-tion prizes, some of which can prove awkward to the recipient. "A few custo-mers were quite surprised when they found they'd won a motorbike," says a staff member. "I mean how do you take that back home? They generally give them away to the nearest Thai girl, who's even more surprised!" As it is with Jammin', live music is a strong feature of the bar's personality. The place slips into a clubby feel later in the evening, yet Tai Pan is not a club — it doesn't have a dance license, although you'd never guess it.
 

Again, diago-nally opposite Tai Pan is the impressive Star Club, another mega-dance club also cele-brated for its largesse, during promotions, in handing out large prizes. A huge replica of a movie alien stares out over the steel and glass club. Generally speaking, younger Southeast Asian tourists gravitate to this location but, as with almost any entertainment centre in Patong, the crowd can vary from one evening to another. Another good place for a late night boogie is Banana Disco on the beach road — the crowd is an international mix.

Desserts
Officially speaking, Thai nightlife shuts down at 2am. However, if an establishment serves food past this hour, legally it can still serve alcohol. The major chill-out location in Patong past closing time is Soi San Sabai or Soi Sunset, the eastern extension of Soi Bangla. Some locals claim they don't even go out till after 2am, and head straight for this late-night rendezvous.

What about for the girls?
There's no doubt about it. Patong is defiantly and obstinately male oriented. Bearing this in mind, business partners Chris and Judy, from Canada and Bangkok respectively, are opening Play, a bar/club for women only. Situated on Soi Paradise, near the Royal Paradise hotel, Play, with its tongue firmly placed in its cheek, is in rivalry with … well, with just about everyone else in Patong. There's finger food, a good wine list and an upstairs "VIP" show. The staff is entirely male, and Play's concept will no doubt be welcome among Patong's more adventurous female visitors.
 

Phuket Town
Unlike with Patong, exploring Phuket Town's nightlife scene requires wheels. Also unlike Patong, Phuket has a local feel to it. The original Jammin' on Bangkok Road, for example, is bigger than its Patong sibling, yet the same recipe of heavy live funk, bar/club-like atmos-phere and cosmopolitan crowd prevails. Timber Hut, on Yaowarat Road, has been a major Phuket Town haunt for as long as anyone can remember. Timber Hut has a Dr Who, Tardis-like feel to it, as it seems a whole lot bigger than it actually is. The dance floor is tiny, but you'll soon be on it grooving to the excellent live bands. Along Rasada Road, in the town centre, Dance Fever presents a young, cheeky Thai club featuring Thai rap artists, orange-clad staff and beer by the jug. Just around the corner lies Di Di café, a quieter place constructed entirely of finished concrete (surprisingly, it works) and a live singer. Farther along Rasada Road, opposite Salvatore's Italian restaurant, is Sixteen, a chic upstairs location. Down the road from Robinson's department store await two teenybopper locations: Kor Mor Tor, another finished concrete bar, and the chrome and fluorescent X-Zone. If you're in town on a Wednesday night, check out Music Matters, next to Boot's the chemist near Robinson's, for excellent live jazz starting past 10 o' clock.

Around the island
At Rawai, along the beach road, is Freedom Sports Bar — popular for live jam sessions, especially the Sunday night blues gig. Kata and Karon, unfor-tunately, are bereft of good late-night clubs, with two outstanding exceptions. Eazyrider, on a small side-soi off Kata's main drag, Soi Thai Na, is a gem of a place featuring what must be the best guitarist on the island, Bangkok-born Robert. The place is small, but the groove is huge once the band starts blowing. On the Kata-Karon main road is Karma Lounge — infamous for great groovin' dance music and live bands. Between Karon and Patong lies Safari, another jungle-themed open-air disco/dance club that stays open until late. To the north of Patong, in Kamala, there's a Friday full moon party at Rhythm & Beach featuring live bands. Farther north, in Surin by the entrance to the Chedi Hotel, Jazzmatazz leads the nightlife pack for tasteful decor, cosmopolitan clientele, good live music and perhaps the finest selection of recorded music on the island. Short of motoring all the way to Patong, this offers the best nightlife on this part of the island.
 

No matter which of Phuket's evening entertainment districts you end up in, you'll have a great time and meet some very interesting characters. Slip on your dancing shoes and go boogie the night away. Cheers!