People are fascinated by them. Some are repelled, some are turned on, but nearly everyone is curious. Thailand's ladyboys, or katoeys, as they are known locally, often strikingly beautiful, are men who have transformed themselves into women. Some are so convincingly feminine, many tourists don't even realize they're men at all. Many work the cabaret shows, or can be seen dancing and posing for pictures with tourists around Patong. But you also find them working in retail shops, in hotels, banks and government offices. Katoeys are woven into the social and cultural tapestry that is Phuket.

Pee is 25 years old. She works as a hostess at Friendship Beach Resort, in the island's south. She's very bright, outspoken, and refreshingly attractive. She grew up as a young boy in northern Thailand helping on her parent's rice and poultry farm in Nakorn Ratchisima, in Isarn in northeastern Thailand. Pee lived with her uncle between the ages of 10 and 13 before returning home to finish school.

All through her youth, she participated in sports with the other boys and graduated from high school still a boy. Pee says she knew from the age of six years old that her heart was holding a secret. Her parents had discovered her passion for dressing in girls clothes and playing with Barbie dolls. They tried to discourage it. Her father was especially concerned about it. But you can't change something that dwells in the heart. At the age of 19, she found her first boyfriend. Still shy about being gay, Pee was content to let people think they were just friends. Now that has all changed.

Last April, she made the big decision to undergo the top half of sexual reassignment surgery. Why? In her own words: "I did it for myself, because of what I've always wanted to be, and because it makes everything better for my whole life. I have found more acceptance after my transformation to a woman than I did as a gay man." Her boyfriend is happy, and she says her family accepts the change. Now Pee is proudly introduced as her father's daughter instead of his gay son. For her, it made all the sense in the world. And, as you speak with her and come to know her, it makes sense to you as well.

Has she experienced open hatred and fear from others? Sure she has tasted that; but, surprisingly, it isn't so common in her workplace. "I've had a guest here say loudly in front of others and me that he didn't want me to serve his table because a ladyboy smells bad," says Pee. "But one like that just makes himself look like a mean-spirited ass. I've hosted parties for over 300 guests in one night, and have gotten only support and compliments from everyone."

Thailand is a very tolerant place regarding most aspects of human sexuality. What about her boyfriend? If he's attracted to men, how does he feel now that she's a woman? It turns out her boyfriend is bisexual, which allows for his continued attraction. As Pee adds, "Our love is based in the heart, and my happiness is more important to him than whether my body looks like a man or a woman." Still, they both feel more comfortable when they go out together, and she giggles when admitting, "He sticks around a little closer these days to guard me from all the attention I get as a woman."

Pee's intention is to have the lower half changed as well. What becomes clear, in discussion, is her unshakable conviction that it will be the right choice. No one can doubt the sincerity of her desire, nor the courage necessary to go through with it. It shouldn't need pointing out to most males what an incredibly committed decision it is to give up your penis. But this may be at the heart of the matter: to gain the right perspective, to understand and to accept the idea requires considering what a brave, undaunted person it takes to say "This is who I want to be." It's always hard to be what you want to be — to follow your heart no matter how steep the path. Many people are entirely too concerned with what others think they should to be.

What would Pee like to tell people about ladyboys? "We are people like everyone else," she says. "We have feelings, emotions, the same heartbeat as any person. There are good katoeys and bad ones, nice ones and mean ones. There are many, many ladyboys who are gifted artists, and very bright and special people. We're not all the same. But I think sometimes a lady boy can be more beautiful than any other." She smiles mischievously.

I hear so many well-intentioned people try to promote acceptance by minimizing our differences. It may be natural to seek common ground, but that's not the trick. We aren't all the same. And some of us are more than just a little different. Some of us are indeed very special. But there's nothing to fear in that is there? We don't have to be the same to accept one another, do we? In a great big world of the same old thing, we'd have nothing to write and read about, and people would have nothing to wonder about one another, and there wouldn't be anyone like Pee to talk to — unless, of course, we were all like Pee.

The best bridge may be not only to accept our differences, but be thankful for them, to celebrate them. A plethora of new research provides compelling evidence that genetics and internal chemistry play important roles in determining our sexual orientation. There are people born with both female and male reproductive components, and there are people who must choose what to be. Pee is only one of these. In her heart and soul, this is her choice.